being a perfectionist means you'll never be perfect

i know there are many people who would love to be in my shoes (and i have a lot). i have a wonderful husband, a beautiful daughter, a supportive family, a nice house, a great job. money is not an issue because we make enough of it and we live below our means. i'm young(ish), smart and healthy. life is good, right? right!? but i constantly find myself feeling dissatisfied. chad says that i'm a total pessimist who manages to find the negative in every situation. doesn't sound like a very nice thing to say to your wife. but i suppose i can't fault him for being honest.

one of my problems is that i'm a perfectionist. i used to think that this was one of those traits that you pretend is a fault but is really an asset. you know, like the kind of answer you give to that standard interview question? but i've come to realize that it's just an excuse to not be happy with what you are / what you have.

i recently came across this post on the subject on penelope trunk's blog. most of what she writes resonates with me as a woman trying to juggle a family and a career, and this post was no different. it struck a chord on a personal note as well. i found these four observations to be very insightful:

• Perfectionists procrastinate because they're scared of not being perfect.
• Perfectionists are hypercritical to the point that they can't support people around them.
• Perfectionists can't finish a project because they can always think of a way to improve it.
• Perfectionists are phony, because no one's perfect and they can't handle showing that in themselves.

but identifying your flaws is the easy part. changing your entire outlook on life, even if it is for the better, is not so easy.

Comments

[Trisha Jackson]

If you don't mind, I need to XP this on my blog. This is me to a T. I completely feel ya.

[erin]

I agree to an extent. I do feel like I'm able to support others genuinely though. On the other hand ~I do feel like I have to be "phony" at times (which I detest) but otherwise people view me as too harsh or critical when I just feel like I'm being straight forward.

[Bernard]

This is a great tip.
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